ArticlesIf Poker Players Were on Steriods...
- By Justin Prince
- Published 03/31/2008
- Poker
- Unrated
Steroids have corrupted several sports, the best baseball player of our modern era can no longer be trusted, the best
sprinters in the world have had their Olympic medals stripped and even the
world class cyclists can no longer compete in any tour races without having to
undergo several drug tests to even put one foot on a pedal.
Now I pose the question. What if steroids made its way into poker? What do you think it would happen to the major poker tournaments? Can you picture yourself peeing in a jar before you seat at the poker tables to comply with the doping controls? I know it sounds ridiculous, and overall a little silly, however lets examine the effects these drugs would have on our beloved game.
Doyle “Texas
- He's an old school kind of guy, therefore would not be tested often. Doyle already needs Viagra so the shrinking of the man jewels would not be welcomed in the Brunson household.
Phil Ivey on Steroids.
- A beefed up Ivey wouldn't look right now would it? His blank stare would not be one of vengeance! I cannot imagine Phil on steroids for one reason and one reason only. His death matches would literally have to have an asterisk next to them!
Chris "Jesus"Ferguson
- Jesus doesn't do steriods. Case closed.
Jen Tilly on Steroids.
- Does she really need to look more like a man? The bulk of her appearance would certainly scare off opponents, however on the steroids she might not check down a full house. These effects of aggression could make her more money in the long run.
Johnny Chan on Steroids.
- Is it possible for an Asiatic fellow to get smaller? Chan would not want to find out.
Any poker player on steroids would probably not be allowed to enter any World Series Of Poker event or World Poker Tour event. It is fair to say that if steroids did enter our game of choice; mothers across the world would have another thing to rant about.
Now I pose the question. What if steroids made its way into poker? What do you think it would happen to the major poker tournaments? Can you picture yourself peeing in a jar before you seat at the poker tables to comply with the doping controls? I know it sounds ridiculous, and overall a little silly, however lets examine the effects these drugs would have on our beloved game.
Doyle “
- He's an old school kind of guy, therefore would not be tested often. Doyle already needs Viagra so the shrinking of the man jewels would not be welcomed in the Brunson household.
Phil Ivey on Steroids.
- A beefed up Ivey wouldn't look right now would it? His blank stare would not be one of vengeance! I cannot imagine Phil on steroids for one reason and one reason only. His death matches would literally have to have an asterisk next to them!
Chris "Jesus"
- Jesus doesn't do steriods. Case closed.
Jen Tilly on Steroids.
- Does she really need to look more like a man? The bulk of her appearance would certainly scare off opponents, however on the steroids she might not check down a full house. These effects of aggression could make her more money in the long run.
Johnny Chan on Steroids.
- Is it possible for an Asiatic fellow to get smaller? Chan would not want to find out.
Any poker player on steroids would probably not be allowed to enter any World Series Of Poker event or World Poker Tour event. It is fair to say that if steroids did enter our game of choice; mothers across the world would have another thing to rant about.
